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The Second Annual Mornhinweggie Awards, Again Recognizing The Finest In Coaching Dumbassery
By Jay Busbee | December 12, 2007
It’s time again for the Mornhinweggie Awards, Sports Gone South’s recognition of the finest in moronic/idiotic/flat-out stupid coaching behavior. Coaches can win for questionable decisions either on or off the field (or, in the case of this year’s runaway winner, both). The awards are named for the esteemed ex-Lions coach Marty Mornhinweg who, after winning the coin flip in an overtime game, elected to kick–and proceeded to lose the game without ever touching the ball again.Check out last year’s formidable roster by clicking here. Nudity, backstabbing, 
picking on cancer patients–man, that was a good year. Can 2007 hold up? Let’s find out:
Joe Gibbs, Washington Redskins: Put the final nail in the coffin–ouch, wrong analogy–in the Skins’ first game after Sean Taylor’s murder by calling two consecutive time-outs, thus giving the Bills an easy field goal kick for the win. As Scott Norwood was nowhere to be found, the Bills drilled it. Gibbs is a deserved legend and one of the few truly good guys in sports, but it may be time to head back to the track. Joe, Chris Webber called–he says you can keep his shtick.
Isiah Thomas, New York Knicks: Our first two-time nominee! This year, Zeke got himself in dutch with both the law (courtesy of a sexual harassment suit) and the fans (courtesy of comments blaming them for not supporting his crapwad team more vehemently). Where’s Michael Jordan to slap Isiah around when you need him?
Nick Saban, Mia-er, Alabama: Pledged his undying love for the Dolphins as he was backing his fully-loaded station wagon–the one with “Bama Bound”–out of the driveway.
Unfortunately for Saban, what seemed like the ultimate in coaching douchebaggery would last only a few short months–which is longer than Alabama remained competitive in the SEC.
Bill Belichick, New England Patriots: Stole signals from the Jets in a meaningless early-season tilt. Strangely, the assistant who clumsily got caught has not been seen since that game, though police did report finding his car submerged in the Charles River.
Billy Donovan, Florida–no, wait, Orlando–no, wait Florida after all: Couldn’t make up his friggin’ mind whether he wanted to coach in the NBA or not. Fortunately for him, it’s not a decision he’ll ever face again.
Don Nelson, Golden State: In a March game, with his Warriors up by two over the Wizards with no time on the clock, Nelson threw a tantrum and earned enough techni
cals to give Gilbert Arenas three free throws. Agent Zero nailed ‘em all and won the game. Hibachi! Nacho!! Mornhinweggie!!!
And your winner…really, who else could it be?
Bobby Petrino, Falcons/Razorbacks: Ho. Lee. Crap. Folks, this clown has achieved Mornhinwegge Hall of Fame status in just one season. He ditched Louisville one year into a ten-year contract. He played ring-around-the-rosie with Falcons quarterbacks Byron Leftwich, Joey Harrington, and some guy named Chris. Either of those two would have been enough to get him on this list. But then, he bolts Atlanta with three games remaining in the season for Arkansas, of all places. Petrino, you’re a sleazebag at a level the rest of us just can’t even comprehend.
Feel free to add your own write-ins below, of course.
Topics: The Mohrinweggies |
December 13th, 2007 at 6:00 am
Wait a few weeks to see if Cam goes 0-16 in Miami. Then you can talk about him emasculating the offense and having John Beck throw 3 step drop passes and running on 1st and 2nd downs 80% of the time, then wondering why he failed.
December 13th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
How about Charlie Weis? Not kicking the FG at the end of the ND/Navy game or just the fact that he is an “offensive genius” and his team was one of the worst offensive teams in D-1 football.
December 13th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
The Chicago Bears head coach (Mr. Smith) should be up there on this list. MOST PREDICTABLE IN GAME TACTICS EVER!!
December 13th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
The Arkansas brain trust should have their collective head examined for hiring Petrino. Look at his record of bolting teams
December 13th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Bill Callahan
December 13th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
What, no Isaiah Thomas?
The man cost his organization an 11.5 MILLION DOLLAR settlement. That’s, like, a year or two of Steve Francis playing for another team.
December 14th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Greg Robinson for Syracuse football. Claims the program is “improving” and “headed in the right direction” and other meaningless positive platitudes as the team becomes one of the five worst offensive AND defensive schools in the country. With a worse record than ‘06.