At 106, This Bowler Will Pick Up The Seven-Ten Split In Your Heart

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At 106, This Bowler Will Pick Up The Seven-Ten Split In Your Heart

By Jay Busbee | May 17, 2007

One of our sick, twisted pleasures in life is the “And Finally” segment of the local news. You know what we’re talking about — after the Eyewitness News Crew has reported all the day’s weather, stats, and traffic, they wrap up with a cute little tale that starts, “And finally,” and is usually some heartwarming tale of a kid/animal/old coot doing something that the rest of us would find either insane or mundane. And they always end with a howler of a pun — for, say, the little old lady with a hundred cats, “life’s just about purr-fect. Veronica Corningstone, Eyewitness News. Back to you.”

Anyway, here’s a sweet little “And Finally” about a 106-year-old bowler that tweaked our funny bone, mainly because the thought of old people doing anything is pretty damn funny. (Yes, when some idiot descendant of ours finds this post in 2045 and pokes Great-Grandpa SGS with a stick, the world will have its revenge on us. We know.)

So here’s the story. Bill Hargrove of Clermont, Ga. recently bowled his age. Not a big deal, you say? Your kid was doing that when he was five? Consider this, Mr. Cynical-Deadspin-Commenter-Fella – Hargrove is more blind than a referee at a Suns-Spurs game (but not nearly as well-compensated by San Antonio.) He can’t even see the freakin’ pins! From the AJC article:

Ignoring the macular degeneration that has robbed him of 80 percent of his vision, he rolls the first ball of each frame from memory. Before the follow-up, he gets [a friend] to tell him which pins are still standing. “I know WHERE they are,” he explains, knowledge born of 83 years in the sport. It’s a matter of using the lane arrows to set up the approach. While lining up his shots, Hargrove takes a modest three-step approach, and releases the 8-pound ball without a wobble, waving his arms like a toreador to urge the blue-swirled sphere in the right direction.

And this dude is one hundred and six! Think about that for a second. That’s two Roger Clemens and a Freddy Adu! Or almost half a Julio Franco! This dude not only could have seen the 1927 Yankees play, he could’ve taken his kid to a game! He thinks the Greatest Generation was a bunch of yappy little whippersnappers! Sadly, shortly after the picture at right was taken, one of the balls rolled and crushed his head to a fine powder.

We kid, of course. Bill Hargrove’s alive and rolling. Matter of fact, you might say he’s got time to…spare! Hahahahah! That’s all for us, folks. Stay tuned for Entertainment Tonight.

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