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Make Us Love…The University of Florida
By Jay Busbee | March 27, 2007
Continuing in our quest to spread the sports love, we welcome Joe “Grimey” Grimes of Bad Braves Fan (is there any other kind?) to get us prepared for this weekend’s Final Four. He’s a funny sumbitch; go check out his IM conversation with the Snorg T girl for proof. When we asked him to Make Us Love his beloved — but widely loathed — University of Florida, he shot back, “What do you want me to do next, punch God?” Sure, if you’re up for it. But this’ll do just fine for now:
Minutes before the Gators tipped off against Jackson State to start their run in this year’s NCAA Tournament, I told my friend J.P., “You know, with Duke out of this thing, Florida is now the most hated team in the tournament.”
He thought for a moment, and then replied, “No, you probably had that title before then.”
Really? Damn.
With all the Gators’ recent success, I probably cannot make you love the University of Florida. I can only tell you why I love the University of Florida (besides the fact that they gave me a degree a few years back).
In order of awesomeness:
Burrito Bros. Emo kids with tattoos and trucker hats serving the finest Mexican cuisine in the Gainesville area. Their guac is phenomenal.
Corey Brewer. The only member of the ’04’s (along with Noah, Horford and Green) who really needed the NBA money, and he still stuck around for his junior year to win another championship, plus to give me a heart attack every time he drives to the basket. During the Oregon game, Len Elmore mentioned that Brewer’s teammates call Corey “The Drunken Dribbler,” likely in reference to Jackie Chan’s Drunken Master movies… we can only hope that Florida isn’t trailing UCLA in the last two minutes, and Corey doesn’t have to resort to chugging lighter fluid.
Urban Meyer. Two things that I really like about Meyer…first, he’s very blunt when it comes to talking about the Gators to the media. Take this quote from the opening of spring practice:
“We’re not a good team,” Meyer said last week. “We’re a little
bit of a train wreck right now. You can’t have seven seniors at the
University of Florida. It’s not a real positive right now.”
He always makes quotes like this… it’s as if he’s actively trying to make all Gator fans pessimistic, which is brilliant. I mean, isn’t a win better when you’re not quite sure you are going to win?
Second, every once in a while, there will be an article about Meyer’s
motivational tactics. I always get a kick out of these stories:
Last summer, Meyer took away the team’s own locker room and Gators gear. But he eventually returned the access, fulfilling the sentimental side to his mind games.
After every game, he will honor the best performers with weekly membership into the Champion’s Club. He treats those select players with fancy dinners, like steak. However, the others must munch on hot dogs, potato salad and the like.
The sooner you contribute as a freshman, the sooner Meyer will strip his designated black stripe from your helmet.
Seriously, I eat this stuff up.
Location, location, location. Two hours away from Tampa (Guavaween, Bucs games, Devil Rays opening day), five hours away from Atlanta (Braves games, Freaknik), three-and-a-half hours from Panama City (cheap Spring Break when you’re a local).
When it’s time to party, we will party hard. Here’s a few of my favorite Gainesville bars… Si
debar, where I karaoke’d “Jane Says” with a live band and brought the goddamn house down… Calico Jack’s, where I successfully cockblocked by drunken roommate (at his request, long story)… Alligator Rocks, the dueling piano bar where I did Jager shots with my landlord (before you do this, get to know your landlord).
And then there’s Trivia Night at the Mellow Mushroom, where I got sloppy drunk on my 24th birthday, and was still able to name the only two former presidents buried at Arlington National Cemetery. Beat that! (Note: this is one of the reasons I love Aqua Teen Hunger Force.)
The Regal Gainesville 14 at Butler Plaza. It’s refreshing to have a big movie house in town that also shows independent films… Butler Plaza kept Memento in the theater for a good three months. They were also kind enough to let me bring by Zaxby’s meal into an afternoon showing of Kill Bill Vol. 1. Unfortunately, I was concentrating on my cole slaw during the Vernita Green “Kabooms” scene (6:50 on the video) and missed the gunshot, so I snuck into another showing and watched it again.
Finally, the growing legend that is Tim Tebow. Unfortunately for Chris Leak, Tim Tebow came along at the same time as all those Chuck Norris jokes, and as Florida fans, we all got carried away. I am no different… in the Southern Miss opener, Tebow started a drive from the Golden Eagles 10-yard line, and ran for his first touchdown of the year. I stood up and proclaimed him the second coming of Jesus Christ. Just to get it out of the way.
In conclusion, there is a lot to love about the University of Florida. You can get a head start on practicing your love this weekend during the Final Four, and be ready just in time for Tebow’s first season as a starter. Come on, don’t you want to stop remembering Duke as the last team to win back-to-back championships in men’s basketball? You can do your part to at least make Duke the most hated hoops team again! I believe in you!
Whaddaya say, friends? Can we all be Gators, just for a weekend? Who knows — you might score a date with that cute Joakim Noah chick!
Topics: SEC, Florida, Make Us Love... |
