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NASCAR’s Car Of Tomorrow To Debut…uh, Day After Tomorrow
By Jay Busbee | March 23, 2007
Check out that sweet ride there to the right. Putting aside the swoops, it looks about as sexy as a brick. And not one of those hot little terracotta bricks either, those teases. This, friends, is NASCAR’s CAR OF TOMORROW (the term was licensed from Walt Disney circa 1954, we’re assuming). NASCAR, being made up of roughneck men who drive tough, trade paint, and deliver the occasional pizza to a bewildered family, is taking to this sea change exactly like you’d expect — whining loud enough to make the NBA’s recent spat over the changed ball seem like reasoned debate.
The CAR OF TOMORROW (imagine deep echo every time you say it) will begin running this Sunday at Bristol Motor Speedway, a niblet of a track that’s probably the best place to run a bunch of cars that are virtually indistinguishable from speed bumps. The idea is to produce more competitive racing while containing costs, a move that sounds downright liberal in its Big Government approach to racing. Where’s Sean Hannity when you need him?
NASCAR loves the new car – understandably, since their lab boys built the darn thing — while drivers hate it, complaining that it’s slow, ugly, and lacks sufficient surface area to cram the requisite 3,000 ads per vehicle. And that’s not a good thing, since running the CAR OF TOMORROWowowow in addition to their current rides will cost team owners an extra $1.5 million this season. Look for NASCAR drivers to start offering backrubs for money to cover costs. (Getting a 10W40 lotion massage will cost extra.)
Anyway, while we’re all over the idea of a CAR OF TOMORROWowowow, this ain’t it. When we think vehicles of the future, we think only one thing: FLYING CARS. Take it away, Dante and Randal:
We think Tony Stewart would be willing to hack a guy’s foot off; the flying car would just be incidental. We could also name a few drivers we think would be willing to do it with a bunch of guys just for a car, and we bet you can too.
March 23rd, 2007 at 9:33 am
I really want Walter Cronkite to announce the first promo on The Car of Tomorrow, just like the Disney clips. They can even put in a little high-pitch animated bug or something to buzz around the screen and ask dumb questions. Maybe even get Goofy to drive.